Homecoming

Nathan called.  He's coming home tomorrow.  It means a flurry of activity to get a flight, a shuttle ride, things done so he has a clean bed to sleep in.  Grateful that the flight from Seattle to Boise doesn't cost too much. 

I am home alone tonight.  Three kids out with their own adventures, one at institute.  I have so many things on my mind.  Please be patient as I try to make sense of the senseless.

The last few days have been so hard.  I'm not sure why.  It was sometime during these weeks in July that we got Steffen's diagnosis.  I can't remember exactly when.  That is on my mind.  It would seem after all this time I would be able to "handle" it.  Whatever "it" is and whatever "handling" it means.  Funny how little things trigger bigger things which lead to memories and sadness.

The little family from  our community continues to battle the war in Salt Lake.  Their baby is still in critical condition, still uncertain of the outcome, continuing to pray, believe and know that our Heavenly Father is in charge.  They have a blog which an aunt updates.  I am amazed at the people who have left comments.  The story is on nearly everyone's Facebook page, on blogs, the news, word of mouth, etc. Hard to believe that one little baby girl has had such an  effect on so many.

When Steffen got sick I never once thought "why me" or why "my family".  Never.  Once we found ourselves in the midst of chaos we just moved forward as best as we could.  Sometimes we were better at it than other times.  I can see now that there were many blessings which came to us during those days, weeks, months.  Too bad I couldn't see them then.

Just read that my sweet Davey boy has blisters on his feet.  His team is getting him some new tennis shoes tonight.  Crazy boy.  Hasn't mentioned one word of it to me at all.  He calls, tells me he's having a great time, things are good and he has made friends.  That silly boy.  I can't imagine one minute of my life without him.

I continue to learn that Heavenly Father knows us.  He knows our needs, he knows our hearts.  And even when we don't know what we need we receive it.  Sometimes we don't realize it until much later, if at all.  I am finally realizing that he knows what I need and all along I have gotten it.  I had the husband I needed, the children I need, the life, the gospel, parents, siblings, friends, etc. etc. etc.  Much to be grateful for. 

I think about Nathan coming home.  How anxious I am to see him.  Hear about his experiences in Alaska.  The friends he made, the things he's done.  I imagine that in some way that is what Heavenly Father feels.  He is anxious for us to come "home" so he can hear about our experiences.  Maybe I need to be paying better attention.

I will run.  I have things to do.  I hope this Thursday evening is peaceful in your world.  It is fine in mine.  :)