Nathan's Last Day

Well....it is late, nearly midnight. I need to go to bed, but can't seem to settle down enough to sleep. This is Nathan's last day home. It has been a fairly good day.

We went to church, we were late, as usual. Anna can't seem to get moving. The boys went to the singles ward so Nathan could say goodbye to his friends there.

After church we went to the cemetery. Me, David, Nathan, Leah, Anna. It was the first time we had all been there, gotten out of the car and just were "there". We took away all the arrangements from the funeral, they were frozen to the ground. We left a new plant which will probably be dead within days. Today we could see the temporary marker the funeral home leaves with Steffen's name, birth year and death year.

It seems so surreal. I know he isn't there. But he was with us all in the cemetery today. Nathan mentioned that he had been with him all day. Steffen was telling Nathan to go to Kansas and take good care of his mom.

After we got home from there our good friend Frank came to give Nathan a priesthood blessing. He has become such a good friend and I think for Nathan a real father figure. He gave Nathan a beautiful blessing with great promises.

Tomorrow will be a hard day. While I know his leaving will be a good thing it will be hard for me to let my "baby" go. He will be in good hands and find his way just fine, but dang I don't want him to go.

This evening we spent at Matt and Leah's apartment. It is turning into such a cute place. It was such a bachelor pad, but Leah has taken so much of her stuff over that it is starting to look like a real newlyweds home. She has pink in the kitchen and pictures on the walls. It will be a good place for them to start their lives together.

Matt's mom came over for part of the evening. We had a nice visit. She seems so nice. I have enjoyed meeting her and I feel Leah is very lucky to have her as a mother-in-law. I think she will be a help to Leah along the path of life.

Matt talked to his dad and his dad told him to put the money they gave towards wedding expenses. I don't know exactly what Matt told him and I am very embarrassed that he would have to mention a word to his dad. I feel like an idiot because I can't take care of things. I know it isn't a big deal, but to me it is.

I told Leah not to worry I will figure things out, but she and Matt have all ready made a list of people who need to be paid.

I have got to end this day. Tomorrow Anna has driver's ed early, then we are leaving right afterwards to go to Salt Lake to drop Nathan off at the airport. It will be a long day.