OHHHHHHH My

I started this blog about 11/2 years ago. I added to it a few times, but things just seemed so out of control, so I never did much more with it. Things are different now and so I decided I would just get with the program more.

My life is changing. Steffen died just twelve weeks ago. If that wasn't enough trauma for me; Nathan leaves in just a few days to go to Kansas to live with Steffen's sister and her husband. It is a good thing and I know it, BUT it is killing me.

I know it will be better for Nathan, better for me and probably just better all the way around. But well, a part of me keeps wondering how I will manage to let him go.

Then just six weeks later Leah and Matt get married. They have been talking about leaving here too. I have cried more this week than I thought it was possible. I finally told Leah that while I know growing up and moving on is a huge part of life I can no longer hear their plans. So they have to talk about things and keep me out of the loop.

My house will go from being full to nearly empty in a matter of weeks. It seems so strange. I will have gone from wife to widow mother to mother-in-law in just four months. That is so much to take in.

I will be writing here. I have to find a place where I can have an outlet of some sort. I can't keep all of this in. It is hurting too much.