I've decided that the soap opera which is my life should have a clever name, so recently I asked a pool of friends what they would suggest. After much deliberation I've decided my soap opera will be called "As The Spud Turns". Believe me it works, my life seems to a soap opera.
I've been thinking what to write about and decided I would try to clear up a few details, then move onto the new "stuff". First, Josie is in a new home. A girl I go to school with took her. From what I hear Josie is in heaven, doing well and loving life. Her "baby" a puppy my friend got the same day she took Josie was hit by a car a few weeks later. She told me Josie was a bit depressed. Believe me I'm so glad. I miss that dog, just because she is the best dog, ever, but I don't miss having to fight with someone to walk her, have her be frustrated being trapped in a small space. So it is a win/win situation for all of us.
Anna is doing much better. The new inhaler is working wonders. She is sleeping at night, able to breath during the days. Good things for her. We go back to the pulmonary specialist in two weeks. I'm fairly certain she will be pleased with the way things are going.
Anna got her patriarchal blessing the Sunday after Thanksgiving. It actually came in the mail today. She isn't home, so the envelope is waiting for her, but from what I can remember it is beautiful. She was promised wonderful things. I felt Steffen there that evening. He sat next to me with his arm around my shoulder. I'm glad he came.
Anna and Adam broke up. If you know anything about Anna and Adam you will immediately be shocked by the news. Who knows what happened??? Not me, at least not much, but from what I can get out of anyone Adam feels like he needs to find himself, focus on a mission, and just date others. Anna says it was a mutual decision. But she has cried like a baby. They are doing Math homework this week so I don't really know for sure how things stand.
Anna also sent off her college application. I know, I keep saying she's doing one thing or another. She has felt that she needs to study nursing, but it isn't her favorite so she has fought against it as much as possible. But she's lost the battle. Her application to the University of Utah is off. She got a card in the mail yesterday saying they have her application and it will be at least ten days before she can see anything online. She refused to apply at any other college, so let's hope her strategy works.
Leah graduates from school the very last day of 2010. She isn't excited one bit.....hahahaha.......she actually has the HOURS documented. Every day, sometimes multiple times daily she is figuring out hours, how many she needs, how many she will have each day, how long it will take, etc. Really....I don't know how much it changes from day to day, but she is a numbers person, so it works for her.
Now that FINALLY the end is nearly here she has no idea what to do. She had planned to go to Utah, work, start school, etc. But it doesn't feel right. So she's at a crossroad. A friend lost both of her roommates last week when they decided to move home. The idea is going around to move in with her friend and another girl who Leah went to high school with. She has applied to BYU-Idaho to take classes through continuing ed. So who knows. She is feeling unsettled about life. Things will work out, I have no doubt, just have to keep on.
Nathan is doing some better. He has moments, even days. He has applied for a few jobs, but nothing is coming together. He called the Job Corps last week. They've sent information which he is getting filled out. He would go to Nampa, Idaho. He has a couple of good friends who are keeping track of him faithfully, I'm grateful. I want something to come together for him so much.
Nathan is volunteering with Special Olympics again this year. It is floor hockey season, so the Ritchie Brothers are on the floor. It is a good thing Nathan helps there. He enjoys it and David appreciates it.
David is David. He worked the day after Thanksgiving. He was bummed it was later in the morning and not the early shift. He continues to cashier, is able to wear Special Olympic shirts to work, is glad floor hockey has begun, is thrilled the Chiefs are doing so well, is sad that Boise State let a game go, and continues to carry his father's legacy of loving people and knowing everyone.
Several months ago I asked our bishop if he thought David would ever be able to go to the temple. He said that was something we could consider. He wants to talk to David about it, see how he feels, then decide. I didn't mention anything to David, I felt like I would let the bishop take charge. Several days later David asked me if he would be able to go. He said he wants to make that his goal for 2011. I don't know that it will happen, but it is sure something worth shooting for.
As I enter these weeks that were the last of Steffen's life many things are running through my mind. I miss him....a lot.......yeah......a lot. I guess I miss having a good joke, feeling like I "know" what's happening in the world, a little gossip in my life.
By this time he was on morphine pretty much full time. We took turns staying with him. Late at night Leah, Matt, and I would go in the bedroom where the lamp was on all the time and tease him. We were mean, I know. He was often so goofy from the morphine he would say silly things, we would make fun and laugh. Sometimes he was floating between this world and the next. He told me one day that two men had come to get him. I asked what he told them, he said he would have to talk to me and his attorney. I'm not sure who his attorney was, but we talked about it and I told him if anyone came to get him it would be OK. His response often during those last weeks was he worried how we would eat. I told him not to worry we would be OK.
I can't honestly say it has been easy. In fact it has been harder than I can tell you. But we have managed and are better for it. I think we as a family have been given peace, comfort, and shown many tender mercies. I have no doubt Heavenly Father has blessed us, that Steffen is doing all he can do for us.
I drove through the cemetery this after during lunch. I haven't been there in a long time. I know he isn't there, but I feel him there. I am grateful to know life goes on, we will see him "soon", that so much of this will make sense to us then.
I need to run. I have a few other things to do. I hope this evening is perfect for you. It is for me. :)
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